Okay. Finals loom. A deep dark funk has settled in. Life has lost all sense of balance and meaning. So, to remind myself that there are good things in this crazy mixed up world, I decided to compose a "list o' happy". That's a list of things that bring out the happy. In me.
If my heart had cockles, these things would warm them.

I have love for these things:

1. Puppies. Yeah, I know that's kind of a no-brainer, but it's true. Little fuzzynugglets with big floppy ears, or long limbed and awkward with huge feet. Doesn't matter. All cute, all the time.

2. Campfires. I may be a closet pyro. I don't know the signs. I do know that the smell of woodsmoke will forever be associated with great memories of my father and grandfather.

3. The guy in the parking garage. Always makes me smile. Calls me "Doc". I like being called "Doc". I'm sure he calls everyone "Doc", but for a brief moment before I snag my coffee, I'm "Doc". Could be a medical doc. In my head, I'm Doc Holliday, and for that moment, I'm invincible.

4. Ham and Pineapple Pizza. Do I really need to explain this one? you either get it, or you don't.

5. The comedic stylings of Mitch Hedberg. If you don't know Mitch, you should pick up one of his CDs. Go with "Strategic Grill Locations". His was random humor, but he was second to none in delivery.

6. The musical stylings of Ray LaMontagne. If you don't know Ray, you should pick up one of his CDs. Go with "Trouble". Very bluesy, with a lot of emotion behind his vocals.

7. The literary stylings of Chuck Palahniuk. If you don't know Chuck, you should pick up one of his Books. Go with "Lullaby". Chuck writes like Vonnegut on a decades long acid trip. His stories are absurd, hilarious, and at times cringe-worthy. But they are never less than entertaining.

8. Kittens. Deep fried, grilled, pan seared. Doesn't matter to me. Just put them next to the green beans.

9. Random acts of Kindness. I saw a guy buy this little elderly couple's meal at McDonald's the other day. I had to resist the urge to pat him on the butt and say good game. Might have been a little awkward. It did make me happy to know that my fellow human beings still have the capacity to help one another out.

10. Numbered lists. They're so organized. And predictable. I need that stability in my life.

The Why.

It's simple really. You've all been told what to DO here in Law School, but no one is really offering valuable insight into what NOT to do. That's why you have me. I may end up being the most valuable commodity you will ever run across. I am the Vice Representative.

As good little law students, you'll need a step by step break down of the process. This falls under the "A" in IRAC.

Step One: "Vice" -->

a : moral depravity or corruption : WICKEDNESS
b : a moral fault or failing
c : a habitual and usually trivial defect or shortcoming : FOIBLE

Step Two: "Representative" -->

"serving as a typical or characteristic example"

As Vonnegut once said "I got into some perfectly delightful trouble, then I got back out of it."

I am the representative of:

1. Sloth (I'm sorry, you expect ME to actually write my OWN outlines? For more than one class?)
2. Envy (I am SOOOOOOO glad I didn't make Law Review.... all that extra work....maybe they'll get carpal tunnel.....)
3. Anger (If that kid in the next row blows his nose one more time, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN!!!!!)
4. Lust (She should be ashamed of herself. She's holding that chalk like that on purpose. How am I supposed to concentrate on taking notes? Is she taking off her jacket? NOT THE SLEEVELESS SHIRT!! Foul temptress!)
5. There's like three more.... eh. Refer to number one.


But that's not ALL that this blog will be about. Oh no. I will offer amusing stories. Deep Meaningful insights. Tasty recipes involving 4 ingredients or less, and cheap and easy ways to make your guest bathroom "sparkle".

Think of me as the love child of Martha Stewart and Tom Sizemore.

And again, there is sloth in the mix. So don't expect regular postings. Or if you really like to be disappointed, expect regular postings. It's your life.